Monday, October 6, 2008

One Saturday Morning

I had to go for a drug test for my new job. No big deal, I don't do drugs, so I have nothing to worry about.

At 6:30am on Saturday, I groggily dragged myself to the drug test facility. They open at 7am, and at 7:20 when I arrived, the place was packed. Being a walk-in, you just wait until they have space for you after the appointments. So, I brought a book with me and listened while this lady complained that her elderly parents had to sit and wait for 45 minutes, even though they did NOT have an appointment. Then I get called back. They take my driver's license and my forms and I sit and watch people with bandages on their arms from blood tests. Then I get nervous. I hate needles, I can handle getting a shot, but I prefer my blood in my body. I'm thinking, maybe they'll have to do blood work AND a urine test! YIKES.

Between the fear of needles and the fact it was about 60-degrees in the room, my anxiety could not be comforted. Then the doctor came to get me. She pulled me over to a little counter and asked me if my name was Evans Anne. It is now that I see the Indiana driver's license makes no sense because your last name is printed above your first followed by your middle.

Once that confusion is over, I ask her if it's a blood and urine test. To my relief, it's just a urine test. She hands me the cup, has me rinse my hands, then closes the door. A few minutes later, she taps on the door. I open the door to say "I've got nothing." Frustrated, she orders me to drink as much water as possible and I have to wait another 30 minutes. Feeling like a failure, I hang out for awhile drinking water out of a cone cup (which is difficult to drink out of, two-year-olds were more coordinated with it than I was). About 40 minutes later, she comes back and motherly asks, "are you ready now?" I nod. This was a success.

This whole time frame was about 2 hours. It took me two hours to pee in a cup.


Mom said...

I chuckled about this story when you told me on the phone. Now, I'm laughing all over again! It's great that you can see the humor through your frustration and embarrassment.

Mom said...

Do you mean 30 minutes? (not 300...)