...and the World Spins Madly On.

These last few weeks have been a blur. School keeps plugging away - I cut hair, I color hair, I make people happy, I go home, make dinner, go to the gym, go to bed, then get up and do it all over again. 


This industry is interesting. If I wanted to be a rockstar stylist and be famous someday (and probably if I was 18 again), I'd be content with what's expected after you take your boards for cosmetology. What's expected is this: apprentice under someone for 1-2 years making minimum wage, folding towels, cleaning up after them, and not touching hair. But I tend to veer off the beaten path and pursue things my peers wouldn't think of. Thank goodness, in this case. Just starting to make a decent living at the age of 30 sounds horrific. I don't expect to have everything, but I expect to be able to pay my bills between now and then. So there's that. 


Then there's him. He graduates in June, too. His career track could take him anywhere. Also with the fear of barely having a paycheck for awhile. Mine is flexible too, but a steady paycheck could be more likely (but who knows these days). So where does that leave us? 


Coming to grips with what both of you are trying to accomplish is hard. All of a sudden the thought of living in my parents' basement together seems way better than living 1,000 apart. So what will we do? The answer is I don't know. Do I wait to see where he might work? Does he wait to see where I might work? Do we actually have the luxury to be unemployed for the time it takes to figure those things out? (That is answer is definitely a No.) 


Living together has been great. Seriously. There have been arguements, moments when we're sick of each other, and every day has been a learning experience. I didn't realize until now that this life could change pretty drastically this summer. Every once in awhile we talk about marriage. Obviously we are very committed already so what's the rush? I came to the conclusion that I like to talk about it because I feel like it gives us something to look forward to. We are a sure thing and nothing else in our future feels that way, so why not talk about the excitement of a prospective wedding and marriage? Guess what I also finally realized: getting married won't make job hunting any easier. Getting married won't mean we suddenly have the luxury to do whatever we want. Having a ring on my finger won't pay the bills. In fact, it will lead to more bills. That just sucked the fun out of that, huh? 


I'm the type of person that is always positive. I trust that everything will work out. But some days, like today, I let reality pull me in and scare the shit out of me. And the reality is this: we have no clue what's going to happen after June. And while that's exciting most of the time, today it sucks. 


Tomorrow I'll get up and my routine will start again. I'll put a smile on my face and keep moving forward because that's what I do: I keep pushing. I keep hoping for the best. So may tomorrow be filled with hope once again.

Sorry Summer

In May I moved in with my love (and his roommate) downtown. My credit card was under control. We made a list of all the things we wanted to take advantage of in our fair city. Then I got fired. I went home to Indiana for a week. We did some things here and there. I cleaned a lot. I made the decision to go to cosmetology school. I started July 26th. One week in, I got a high fever that lasted for 12 days. Turns out I probably have mono. One more week of rest and I'll be tiredly making my way back to school. But having that one week of my own things outside the house, and then having it 'taken away' for another 3 weeks put me over the edge. 

After crying and yelling for the last 3 months about how life isn't fair and how I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me and how living with 2 dudes is less than stellar, he finally told me that he wouldn't complain with me. That I've complained about the same things all summer, but he wouldn't join me in my pity party. I didn't even realize I was throwing one.

I've apologized a lot this summer. All my frustrations have been taken out on the person who loves me no matter what, which is what happens when you live in close quarters. And after I yell and cry, I apologize for being a basket case. But it never occurred to me that my usually sunny disposition has had a dark cloud over it since the beginning of June. 

So how did I spend my summer, really? Did I have fun? Sure. But did I spend the majority of it feeling like a total loser who didn't deserve any fun? You bet. Did you know you can like where you live, and then after 3 months of being cooped up, absolutely hate it? I mean, what did our apartment ever do to me, except give me a roof over my head? I even sunk so low as to start blaming other people for my lack of having a life.

I'm a firm believer in being in charge of your own life - you can make the best of any situation. This summer, I didn't. I tried. I put on a smile. But underneath I just angrier and angrier. And then getting sick, to the point of not even being able to do anything, was the icing on the cake. 

Now that I realize how crabby I've been at home, I think it's time for an attitude adjustment. I think it's time to be ok with splurging on a yoga class or a facial, or new shoes. Not every week, but treating myself to things I enjoy is ok. I'm always encouraging others to treat themselves well and to take care of themselves. The bottom line is that I haven't taken care of me the way I need to be taken care of. How bad does that suck when you realize it's you, and not the world making you miserable? 

Unfortunately I wasted a summer being angry and sad (with a recurring dream about my old job, that couldn't have helped). But it's time to seek out the things I've wanted to take advantage of in this city that make me happy. No one else can do that for me. 

And I'm tired of apologizing. So perhaps instead of letting all my stress out on the person who truly makes me happy every day, maybe I'll take my stress out in a yoga class or jog session throughout the week. I know relationships have their ups and downs, and we'll have more. But I need to remember to take care of myself the way I love to take care of the other person. 

We're going to Boston this weekend to see my college friends get married. We're staying at a b&b near the Mayflower in Plymouth. We're looking forward to relaxing, the ocean, good food, and good friends. And lobster. :) 

Here's to end of summer smiles and less sorries.

Leaps of Faith

We were watching an old episode of How I Met Your Mother. At the end, I turned to Mr. L and said, "I think this was really good that I watched this when I did." He just nodded, as he does when he's not really sure what I'm getting at, but wants to proceed with caution given my emotional roller coasters over the last couple of weeks.

This particular episode features the main character's friends telling him that even though he thinks he should be pursuing one career, maybe he's running into roadblocks for a reason. We're taught from a young age that walls are built to break through. What we're not taught is what to do when there's a wall and also a small window of opportunity open right next to it. Do we keep breaking through these walls and ignore the windows? If we're told we're good at something, or 'should' do something, we think that's our option. I have to become the best "insert occupation here" I can no matter what - even if everything and everyone is saying no. I know we all run into bumps in the road. But do we continue down the same path even when there are arrows pointing us in a different direction? A direction we hadn't considered before, maybe out of fear of the unknown? 

The moral of this story is that life isn't planned. As much as I like to plan ahead, there comes a point when you say 'fine. Life, you tell me where to go from here.' We shouldn't stop being proactive in our lives, but we should start listening to the world when it tries to help us along. Instead of fighting it, maybe we should just take the leap and look forward to a new adventure we didn't think we could pursue in the first place. 

Enjoy the clip - for some reason the writing at the end is backwards, but it doesn't take away from anything.

Blast from the Past

 I was poking through another blog I've contributed to in the past - some of you may remember "Just a little thing called life." Me and two of my best ladies started it one day with the idea that maybe we'd turn it into a book one day for other 20-somethings to learn from our thoughts/mistakes/successes/etc. Well, you'll see that the last post was January 2010 - one of us is blogging up a storm on her own, I've been taking my own path through life that left writing on the back-burner, and the other one had a baby last year. But sometimes it's nice to go back and see what your thoughts were years ago - which is how I stumbled upon this entry I posted right before I moved back to the Midwest almost 2 years ago. While some things in my life have changed, my overall thought process has not. And I think this is a great reminder for myself and others that happiness is the ultimate goal and we shouldn't be afraid of it. 

From July 13, 2009:

What happens when you realize you thought you had it figured out, but actually have no clue?

My goal after graduation was to work for a non-profit because you learn how to do everything. You have to work really hard to get results and typically others in the non-profit world also work really hard.

I've found all of these things to be true. But it's not enough. So, where do I go from here?

As 20-somethings, we are goal-oriented from the day we are born. All we are told is that we should finish school and work toward a great career that will provide security and insurance. Hopefully, you love what you do, but the biggest thing is to make sure you're taken care of. I have all these things, and my job is fine, but I'm getting to the point where my job is simply paying my bills. As a non-profit employee, I think it's important to want to give 110% every day to ensure the success of your programs. Not even a year in and I'm already tired of giving my 110%. To be honest, I care a little less every day about my job. I still work hard, but it's because I'm supposed to, not because I want to. Is this what I spent my whole life working toward?

And what happens now that I realize this? Do I just simply quit? Do I look for another job, even though I haven't even been there a year? Or, do I pursue what really makes me happy at the expense of losing some of my current security? Would that really be a bad thing?

My fellow 20-somethings, I hope we are all brave enough to take a chance on our lives and strive for happiness, even if it goes against the status quo.

Untying the Knots

Yesterday was my massage day. I haven't had a massage in years, but Mr. L treated me for my birthday and I couldn't think of a better time to use it.

My job was pretty stressful most of the time - always number-crunching, always finding new leads, always have to be on top of your game. I basically didn't sleep on Sunday nights in anticipation of the upcoming week (and probably dreading 7am meetings every Monday). So when the massage therapist asked if there was anything in particular I wanted her to work on, I told her that I was sure I was carrying a lot of stress in my back. And boy was I right.

Did you know that in between your shoulder blades you can acquire the biggest knots ever? I didn't. It was painful, but the kind of pain you have to get through to get some relief.

As I walked home, feeling noodle-like and completely relaxed, I couldn't help but think that the tension she worked out of my back has probably been building for months. I know I haven't been taking care of my body like I should, especially in the last 8-9 weeks. Mr. L and I were good about workouts after the first of the year, but once March hit, things shifted and I became more focused on my stressful job. That means no yoga, no jogging, basically nothing except the occasional walk in the last couple of months.

I'm not here to blame my job for my knotted back. But I think I've realized that if a job, relationship, commute, overall schedule is a constant stressful situation, is it really worth it? Obviously you have to make time for yourself, whether it's a quiet moment in the morning while you drink your coffee, or hitting the gym for a yoga class a few days a week. But when other factors in your life don't let up for months at a time and end up distracting you from taking care of yourself, sometimes those other factors have to change so you can lead the life you want. My newly-acquired time off is the reminder I needed to realize that I'm in charge of the amount of stress I have in my life. And taking time for myself isn't a crime - in fact, doing things I enjoy should be a daily requirement.

awake is the new sleep, so Wake Up.

I'm newly unemployed. 6 days in. 

I won't go into details here, mostly because it's not a great feeling to talk about and I don't like to air my dirty laundry on the internet (unless someone REALLY deserves it...well, no, I still wouldn't put it on the internet). 

I will tell you that I've been on a search for the next thing - whether it's a new job or education I've yet to determine. Now that I don't have a job tying up my days, when I'm not feeling sorry for myself (usually the morning, when everyone else is getting ready to serve a purpose for society that day) I'm allowing myself to take some time to figure out what's important to me. 

After college, we hear a lot about a "5 year plan". Some go as far to create a 10-year plan, but for most the 5-year looks a little something like: get job - maybe get married - stay with company to get promoted - buy house with new promotion money - have kids (if applicable). You get the picture. Everyone's is different, but very similar in the career department. 

So what happens when you bounce around careers and nothing happens? Maybe not nothing, but you feel like you're not making any headway? I'm 3 years in to my 5 year plan and I've yet to come close to any type of promotion, let alone save enough to get a house in the next couple of years. What happens when you realize that the path you've been on (or paths) has you led you to....nowhere?

I have some things in the works, but nothing definite. In fact, this is the first time since college I feel like I don't have a plan. And I'm relieved. Is it stressful being unemployed? The short answer is Yes. But here is my to-do list for the next couple of weeks: 

Get a massage. 

Get hair done. 

A couple of meetings for potential job leads. 

Write when I want. 

Indiana for a few days. 

Walk the city to learn the neighborhoods. 

Yoga. 

And of course, apply for jobs. 

I have rent money in the bank for next month, and I'm working on some babysitting gigs to hold me over for a little while. But I think focusing on the things that make me happy is also important. Don't get me wrong, my confidence is at an all-time low any given day. The recovery process will take some time, but sometimes we just need to allow ourselves to dive in and rediscover who we really are. I'm seizing this wake-up call as the opportunity I needed to find me again. 

This post's title is a Ben Lee song called "Whatever it Is."

One month.

My birthday is coming up in one month from today. As I turn 25, I can't help but recall that last year I made a goal to pay off my credit card debt and keep my shopping habits in check. Well I'm here to tell you that by May 24th, 2011, my credit card debt should be a thing of the past! 


After 12 long months, my credit card bill is finally under control. In one month, I will have the entire thing paid off. This is a big deal for me as I can't remember the last time I did not have a credit card payment. Once I started my new job, shopping became rare as I felt like I had less time and less interest in spending money on things I didn't necessarily need. I've made due with all the work clothes I have in my closet. The most I've purchased was a few basic 'going-out' pieces and a few work jackets from Nordstrom Rack - yep, I bargain-shopped, and lived to tell the tale. Best of all, my Nordstrom bill was $41, which will be paid in full when it comes. This may seem to be a small feat for some, but for this shopping snob, this was a huge step for me. I even turned down a $35 designer shirt because it cost more than everything else combined that I'd picked. I'll pat myself on the back for that one, thank you! 


One thing that made a huge impact for me was saving up for a move. I saved every penny I could over the last 6 weeks or so, and put my credit card on the back burner. I wanted to make sure I had enough money for a deposit and any other moving expenses, as well as any other expenses that might come up this summer. Last week I realized that my living expenses will not change much initially, so the money I'd saved wasn't necessary anymore. Had I not had my credit card to pay off, I would have just kept saving. Instead, I chose to take the huge chunk I'd saved and put it towards my credit card. This credit card payment was the biggest I've ever paid. The biggest lesson I learned over the last 6 weeks is that I am in control of my finances - if I want to save for something, I can do it. If I want to pay off my credit card, I can do it. And, I finally feel like I can start saving for big things (once the credit card is done). Paying off that huge chunk of my card was scary, don't get me wrong. But knowing that by June I can restart my nest egg made it worth it. Instead of feeling like it would take me all summer to pay off my credit card, I now look forward to paying for a vacation in August in cash AND having money set aside for whatever else might come along. That's a great feeling. 


I'm happy that I feel like my finances are stabilizing. I thought I'd be at a certain place in my life by the time I turned 25 (which I think I mentioned for my birthday last year). I'm happy to say that I think that place has been found. I feel in control of my finances, and therefore my life. What an awesome feeling. :)

School's Out Never

Remember when every few months your whole life changed? Ok, maybe not your whole life, but your day-to-day schedule changed. Whether you were in elementary school or college, each quarter/semester brought the promise of exciting new experiences. There was a distinct beginning and end. And there was also summer vacation to look forward to. 


In May it will be 3 years since I graduated from Purdue. I still miss the semester changes every few months. Even though I went to school year-round almost every year I was there, you could still look forward to a nice break in between changing up your class schedule. You got new books, new syllabi, new teachers, and in some instances, a new chance to something even better than last semester. I remember my first semester of senior year being the busiest semester I ever had - and my class schedule was really light for my entire last year at Purdue. But I was in charge of recruiting participants for a fundraiser, writing for a brand new publication, helping do the PR for said publication, and working up to 20 hours a week. With school. All on top of having as much fun as possible with friends on weekends (let's be honest, we had plenty of fun during the week, too). 


My job is great. I love the company and the work that I do - for the most part. It's different every day and I wouldn't have it any other way. I can see myself working with this company and moving up into whatever department I choose. But as I told Mr. L the other day, I feel like I'm getting a 6-month itch. A restlessness that feels school-related in that nothing major has changed in my day-to-day life. It's become routine, and when you're in school, as soon as something becomes routine it changes again. I told him that it doesn't mean I want to leave my job, whereas in the past that's what I felt I needed to do. But I feel like I need to mix things up a bit. Is this why people take time off - to relive the anticipation of summer break? Of course, the difference is now we look forward to having an extra day on the weekends versus 3 months of laying by the pool every day. 


In January and February I volunteered with J.A. again, which was great. I was happy when it was over because things at work were getting more hectic. Now that I feel like I'm getting back in the swing of things, I feel like I need that extra distraction. Something to detach from work completely a few hours a week, and running outside can only do so much. When I worked at J.A., I wrote on the side. It was like homework, but not every week. And I loved it - I was able to pursue other interests outside of work and I was commited to it. Maybe because I feel like my life is consisting of work, exercise, and sleep during the week, I also feel like I need more than that. Don't get me wrong, I have fun on the weekends and enjoy all my time with Mr. L. I get together with friends when I want to and go shopping to unwind, but it's usually money I don't necessarily want to spend. I think I miss being culturally involved with the city I live in, and writing about local happenings helped me stay in tune in other places I've lived. 


I'll be moving downtown in May (yay!), which is something I've always wanted to do since I was a kid. I'm so thankful that I'm in a place in my life where I can achieve the things I've always wanted. Mr. L and I are looking forward to a fun-filled summer together, which will help me feel a part of the bigger picture on a regular basis. So maybe pursuing a freelance writing gig will keep my creative juices flowing, while also keeping me busy the way I want to be. If I could handle writing papers, studying, writing articles, working, fundraising, and a social life in college, there's no reason I can't handle it now. I guess the busier I am, the happier I am.

24

My birthday has come and gone and I couldn't ask for better friends and family who love and support me. I had a blast this weekend and worked yesterday. Today I had the day off and was able to take care of some things, including my credit card!

As I was reading a health magazine today, I came across some interesting financial things, too. It not only inspired me, but allowed me to research some more about paying off credit card debt. I'm a girl who loves a quick fix and thinks that paying off X amount should take no time at all. Ha.

Turns out my giant credit card bill could take longer than I'd anticipated. But, given my research, this is nothing to be discouraged by. I think I needed the reality check to understand that this is actually a bigger undertaking than I thought. Kind of like eating horribly and not exercising means it takes no time to gain weight, spending ridiculously adds up really quickly. The catch is that you can't just drop the pounds immediately and the same goes for your bills. Just because you spend more doesn't mean you magically start making more.

So today marks the beginning of a new journey: responsible spending. This is a new concept for me. I've always felt that if I want something, I'm entitled to have it and should therefore purchase it for myself. My expensive taste has led to purchases I love, but it's time to get real. What can I actually afford?

With budget in hand (aka, easily accessible on my computer for frequent reference), I am ready to go into the world and find affordable things to buy and do. Some ideas I have already:

1. Work. I get a discount and can afford to buy one (maybe two depending on the price) item a month and still have money left to have fun with. I don't really need to buy clothes every week, so this should be reasonable.
2. Target. Great for basics, especially summer clothes that I'll wear for three months and then put away again. No need to feel like I need designer stuff that I can't even wear all the time!
3. Outlets, TJMaxx, Nordstrom Rack, etc. For the designer love in me, these places all offer great items at affordable prices. It may take some rummaging (which I've loathed in the past), but getting a good deal that I can pay cash for comfortably is well worth it.

I can still have a fashion-forward summer wardrobe, I just don't need to into debt to have things I'll wear for three months. A few basic tops, basic dresses, a new pair of sandals and I'm good to go. Of course, after May 31st. (I grounded myself from shopping the rest of the month, remember?)

As I go, I'll probably post my purchases on here to keep myself accountable for what I'm buying. By writing it down for you to see, it will force me to be aware of what I'm spending.

I'm excited to make some real progress!

The Year of the Tiger

Those who know me well know I have a birthday coming up. It's my golden birthday (the date is the same as the year I'm turning) and I've always looked forward to my golden birthday. When I was in grade school, I always imagined what I would be like when my golden birthday came. The hope was that I'd be a fabulous adult living in an awesome place downtown with an awesome job, driving a really nice car with life totally figured out. Guess again!

Mind you, I'm happy where I am and enjoy my wheels, but the whole figuring-out-life thing is definitely a life-long process you don't realize when you're in grade school. One thing I still have yet to figure out, and this a biggie: money.

Remember a couple posts ago when I was asking how much is enough? Well according to my budget, I have plenty to live. Living expenses, car expenses, and even some money is thrown into my budget. And guess what else needs to stay in my budget right now? My credit card bill.

My store credits are paid in-full with every bill I get, which is why I rarely put things on store credit. But my major credit card, that's a different story. And it's a sad one at that.

I have a plan. In my budget, I allot for credit card bills. Great! That's a step in the right direction - that means I can pay it off, right? Ideally, yes. For me, probably not.

So here's my birthday gift to myself, to celebrate my golden year: No using the credit card until it's paid off. My living expenses are good and I still have fun money. There's virtually no actual reason to use my credit card. It's time to buckle-down and save like normal people for things. I always like to think I'll pay back my credit card right away, but it's so much easier to forget about it and just pay the minimum payment when it comes. So this year's the year.

Disclaimer - I'm giving myself until my actual birthday to start this challenge for myself. But to be safe, I've grounded myself from shopping for the rest of the month.

What's Enough?

I left my full-time salary-with-benefits-job to pursue a career in the industry that truly interests me. This particular industry is a blast to work in; I have fun almost every day. The hours are all over the place. The clients are interesting. And I get to dress people in fabulous clothing and accessories - pretty sweet!

Since I moved back to the Midwest, money has been a huge concern for me. Living in FL, I was starting on the path of financial hope - hope that my bills could get paid, I could money in savings, and my debt would be finished. My job was steady, so it was completely feasible to accomplish all of these things. However, I love to shop, eat, go out for the occasional beer/cocktail, and travel. So saving real amounts of money was difficult for me. Then I moved home for 6 months with no living expenses, a car to pay for, and a credit card and apartment fees to pay on less than half my previous income. Totally capable of taking care of myself financially in the comfort of my parents' house, yet it still didn't happen. So, moving to a new, steadier job seemed like the logical thing to do next. Living at home with no living expenses wasn't deterring me from spending on silly things, so living on my own working my way up in a company made sense.

Now I'm here. And it still doesn't feel like enough. I work hard, things are progressing well. I tell myself weekly that financially, I should be good to go within a year. Once I'm making more money, my concerns for finance will cease. My credit card will be taken care of, I'll have money in savings, I'll even make enough to live in my own place again. But I can't shake the nagging feeling that I'm going to be poor forever. (Ok, that was dramatic, maybe not forever). When does this feeling go away? How much money does it take to not feel poor? Is it a specific number? Maybe when my credit card is paid off, will that mean I can relax a little? And will I really be able to do it in a year?

Perhaps it's time to make myself truly accountable by using the internet to budget for myself. By sharing my credit card progress, maybe I can keep motivating myself to keep up on my finances better instead of just paying bills because they're there. I try to tell myself that I don't need to go out all the time because I'm still paying off probably 2 years of fun on my credit card. Shouldn't that be enough motivation?

Maybe there's never enough. Enough money, time, motivation, energy...maybe it's all about doing the best you can with what you have. Maybe that's the question I should start asking myself: am I truly doing the best I can with what I have? If we ask ourselves this question regularly, I wonder what kind of answers (and excuses) we can come with...

What's Your Occasion?

In my travels and experiences since graduating in May 2008, I, like many other 20-somethings (and human beings in general), am trying to find my place. I find myself dabbling in different interests. I'm figuring out my life's balance, though I feel like it won't really be balanced for some time. Still, I'm taking steps to figure out who I am and who I'm not.

I've figured out that I'm currently exploring my purpose. While working for JA, I figured out my purpose pretty quickly. I don't mean my general job duties, I mean the thing that makes me get up and go every day. My purpose was to help the kids in Osceola County, Florida to become better citizens. I still have a passion for helping kids, but my desire to learn more about the fashion industry led me to my current job with the Aveda salon. My general job duties are outlined, of course, but I'm still figuring out my overall purpose. I'm exploring some opportunities within the business that will be supplementary to my daily routine. It sounds like these opportunities will be helping the business put on events to benefit our community. I like my job, don't get me wrong. But this extra piece of it, the piece that I'm volunteering to do, I think will end up being my purpose here. Not only will I be helping to coordinate the daily workings of a top salon, I'll also be promoting our salon via community outreach as we try to help some of the nonprofit organizations in town. This aspect of my job at JA was my favorite part - getting out there and showing the people what we were made of (and helping people in the process).

So, even though I'm in a completely different position/work environment, maybe this is another sign pointing me toward where I'm supposed to go. At least I feel like I'm on the path.

This quote inspired today's post:

"Your life is an occasion. Rise to it." ~Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

I'm figuring out what occasion I'm rising to, one day at a time.

The rest is yet to come

Why is it that it takes until you're 22-years-old to finally admit that you're growing up? I suppose it's part of the growing-up process, yes?

My job is teaching me a lot. I have days when I think I'm on top of the world and I have days when I can barely keep up. Sometimes I love the running around like a crazy person, yet some days I just want to sit in my office and hide. No matter what is happening, I'm learning more and more about myself and the world every day. And this is what I was looking forward to when I graduated.

I have to say the favorite part of my job is the people I'm meeting. Not just every month, but literally every WEEK. Sometimes for days in a row. I consider myself extremely lucky because the people I meet are much like me. As mentioned in my previous post, I'm meeting people who are motivated and positive thinkers. These are people with which I want to surround myself. Knowing some of these people gives me hope that one of my biggest fears will never come true: getting too comfortable to take a risk.

A lady I trained yesterday told me "if you're smart, you'll move where your job takes you." She had just finished telling me about the journey she and her husband had taken through life. They lived in multiple cities, made great friends in every one, and retired to Florida where they still do so much traveling, they're not even home most of the month. Immediately after chatting with her, I got a chance to chat with someone else I met before and learned about her exciting career path that is long from over. Both of these women are likely older than my mother (who is NOT old, for the record) and are far from leading sedentary lives. In fact, as an intern in college, I met another woman exactly like this. I remember thinking to myself, "Wow. I want to be JUST like her!" And these people inspire me over and over again.

My latest inspiration is my writing. Well, not MY writing, just writing in general. I'm realizing that I LOVE it. I can't get enough of it. Even though I'm completely swamped at work, I'm constantly telling the newspaper to send me more assignments. And this week it hit me: maybe I should be working toward becoming a writer full-time.

Now, no rash decisions have been made yet. I do enjoy my full-time job and see the obvious benefits of being able to pay bills with that income. However, in my free-time, I'm taking the steps to become a freelance writer. I'm starting small with my first client right now, but I'm researching ways to grow my portfolio. There are tons of jobs out there for freelance writers, it's just a matter of me being brave enough to say "here I am, World!"

And that's what I mean about my biggest fear. I don't ever want to be comfortable enough to not put myself out there. I want to keep challenging myself and make some mistakes along the way. I want to be able to tell my story one day with the phrase "I had no idea X would lead to Z later on, but I'm glad I took the chance." I suppose I've done that already, with buying a plane ticket on a whim and moving 1,000 miles away. Honestly though, that's not enough for this girl. I want to keep moving and keep seeing things. I want to keep meeting people and making connections. I want to live my life to the fullest, and for me, seriously pursuing a profession in writing might be the key.

So what's next? Building up my portfolio with more freelancing opportunities and researching what grad school could do for my career. And at some point, maybe a new place to blog about.